Love in the time of COVID-19

It all started with a 17-hour first date just after the New Year. When you arrange to just meet for drinks and part ways 17 hours later, you really can’t help but be excited to see where this banananess may go. And over the next 2+ months, it went all over! Bars, restaurants, parties, shows, donut shops, dollar stores….(ahhhhh, the real world, remember it? Hugging your friends in a crowded place with live music? Having a professional mix your drink? Those were the days, kids. Those were the days.)…..we went everywhere and anywhere together, and we were definitely and totally liking each other. On March 15th we went to my favorite dive bar, and after being there for an hour or two, heard that bars and breweries were being closed at midnight that night. Two days later, the Bay Area was on lockdown. And 2 more months later, it still is until at least the end of the month, but we all assume that will be extended. And I’m glad for that. I’d rather watch stupidity and denial from afar if I have to see it at all. But anyway, my new relationship has been over 4 months, half in the real world, half in SIP/pandemic land. Talk about a memorable beginning.

My boyfriend! He’s rad. He’s from Southern California originally, and like all good southerners, he opens the car door for me. We’re the same age and have a lot of shared experiences and background things, even had mutual friends before we ever met each other. He’s a punk and really tall and wears all black and people probably make assumptions about him all the time because of his appearance, but then they’d feel stupid for those assumptions when they got to know him. He calls all living creatures “buddy” (“Hey, buddy, how’s your day?” to the lizard in our hiking path), unabashedly hugs his friends and tells them he loves them, and unfailingly puts the well-being of others before his own. He’s a cat person and loves live music and being silly. He knows what he likes and he likes it a lot, but is totally open to new people and new experiences. My family loves him. He is fucking hilarious and ridiculously smart, and his grammar, spelling and punctuation are PERFECT. (drooooooooool OH sorry. You know how I am, come on. That’s so hot!!) He is a beautiful writer and an even more beautiful person, inside and out. He’s sexy and sweet, and I’m grateful every moment we’re together. He treats me like a queen every minute of every day. We’re in love, and it’s amazing. We know how lucky we are.

And all this in the middle of a pandemic. Woof!

We both still have jobs, although mine scaled back to almost nothing for a while there, and we are still seeing each other on weekends and the occasional weeknight. But it’s still a hard time for everyone on this planet, and we’re no exception. It’s a lot to process, the world today - and the outlook is impossible to see clearly. But navigating this new way of life with a partner is a lot easier than doing it alone, that’s for sure. We have helped each other out in figuring out the safest way to do…..well, everything, and how to reduce risks in our lives. It’s a lot of work, bur neither of us wants to have to be apart. We help each other cope with the stress and uncertainty, and it has really brought us closer.

I really don’t think that two people in a relationship as new as ours would handle this well if they weren’t truly well-suited for each other, because the level of togetherness and understanding required by this situation is unparalelled. We have to amuse ourselves and each other without many available distractions. And honestly, it’s been amazing. I can’t wait for a life closer to what we used to consider normal, but I just had to write a little today about how lucky I feel in this very unlucky time. Who knows what our future will be like? It’s so weird to really think about it, right? And scary. Really scary. I just hope I’m part of his future, and he’s part of mine, too. As much as I have always worked to never actually need someone else in my life, it sure is nice to want someone there again.

Be smart! Wear a mask! Stay home! Take care of yous guys! I love ya! Ya heard??