Why resist? DO IT.

Y’all! Big stuff cookin’!

I’ve already done some new-to-me things this year, but the biggest thing is happening in a few weeks, and I’m super excited!

I don’t know what has changed my M.O. when it comes to making changes in myself, which is to reason myself out of it, usually out of indifference, or even laziness, or even worse, fear.. Maybe it’s this wackadoodle dumpster fire of a year, maybe turning 50 in 7 months, but whatever the reason, I have become much more open to experiencing…..a new me? Better me? The me I’m supposed to be? Gaaahhh, none of those things sound right. I think it’s just…..ME! Plain ol’ me! I’m doing whatever I want to feel good, finally, without talking myself out of it first. And I’m definitely not going to let fear hold me back this time.

So in March, I had my first experience with cosmetic enhancement, and had a little Botox in my forehead, and some Restylane, which is a filler, in a couple lines in my lower face. What’s hilarious about it (okay, maybe not HILARIOUS) is that the COVID shelter-in-place happened THE NEXT DAY. So I never even got to see if anyone would notice! Masks every moment since. You gotta laugh! Thing is, now that it’s all worn off, I’m not going to do it again, at least not for now. I don’t think it was necessary, I just had the opportunity to try it, so I did. I looked fine, but I think I look fine without, too. I’m sure that opinion will change as my face keeps slowly being victimized by gravity and all. Haha. Yikes! Yay! Aging! Woo!

Then! Last week I dyed my damn hair!! Like, permanent hair color! Other than very stupid decisions as a teenager that included very yellow bleached chunks and a blue/black incident that will haunt me for life, I have only ever used temporary colors in various shades of red or pink for fun. I’m a natural redhead, and had very bright red hair until the last 5 years or so, I was super lucky. The hair in the title banner of this website is mine, it’s called Rant Gingerly for a reason. BUT. I knew there was a lot of white hair in there, and some weird blonde hair too, and that my hair was getting more dull, but I had no idea how bad it had gotten until I saw it alongside the new color I just did. Crazy!! And I LOVE having my old shade back!! I feel whole again, like the real me. I resisted for so long because I didn’t want to be a FAKE redhead. But how can a natural redhead be a fake redhead, I dunno what I was thinking. I’m so glad I did it, but I was scared. As. FUCK. Phew!

So, here’s the big one. I’m having rhinoplasty. I AM HAVING A NOSE JOB. In a few weeks! I have wanted this since I was about 16, and have gone as far as trying to find the right surgeon many times in the past, but never even could get to the consultation phase before. Why? I’m not sure, but again, probably just made excuses because of fear or uncertainty. But there are two certainties about aging. One, you can’t stop it. And two, your nose and ears will KEEP ON GROWING, Y’ALL. Sad but true!

So the nose I hated at 16 is even worse now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not self-conscious about it. When I describe the things about it that I want to change, most people have never noticed those things until I point them out. And that’s fine, I’m not doing this so anyone will notice. In fact, I don’t want it to change that much or alter my face forever. I just want some small adjustments and to be able to breathe well on both sides. And that’s how I know I’ve found the right surgeon, because she zoned in on exactly what I wanted to change and exactly how to keep me looking like me, but better. For ME. I am SO EXCITED!!! Yes, I’m scared. Of course I am, it’s surgery! But I’m confident in the team that will be caring for me, and that I will be a stellar patient and follow all instructions. I’ll have a mask on, so you won’t be able to see it afterwards. Like, ever. Sorry.

Just kidding!

I’m going to document it, to some extent. I have been watching some vlogs to get an idea of what to expect, and not surprisingly, there are very few middle-aged people describing their experience. But it is so great to see these vlogs because of useful tips and tricks for coping, as the first few days can be pretty dang uncomfortable for many reasons. So if I can help another old person like me decide to pull the trigger and do something they have always wanted to do and get through it, that would make me happy.

So…..what do you want to do for yourself? Anything holding you back from being the best you and making yourself happy?

Fuck it, I say! DO IT!!

Smootchies!